


The Petting Zoo

by lifesucksballs



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: But whatever, Fluff, Humor, Hybrids, M/M, Multi, Romance, and minghao is not a turkey, cheol is an eagle hybrid and i don't know why i found that so cool, or a poor attempt at it anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-11 13:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10466232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifesucksballs/pseuds/lifesucksballs
Summary: The Pledis Petting Zoo, managed by Lee Jihoon and maintained by loyal slaves (or EMPLOYEES, sure, Jihoon), Joshua, Minghao, Soonyoung, and Wonwoo.It has some pretty cool animals. Cats, birds, horses, you name it. But there are some pretty special animals out there. Specifically, ones that can magically (and very much randomly) turn into human beings and romance some silly, unsuspecting humans.





	1. The Petting Zoo

**Author's Note:**

> No idea where this came from. Once again, a product of exam and report procrastination. TRY to enjoy. :)
> 
> Also, it's just Minghao and Joshua friendship and some SoonHoon in this chapter.

There was a time, a very pleasant time devoid of student loans and the need to pay actual money for what was barely considered as food, a time before college stripped him of all dignity, when the most common words used to describe Joshua Hong were _kind, gentle, chivalrous, sweet_ (or whatever words his mom felt like spouting, anyway, to get her _darling_ son to paint the house or visit his cranky great-uncle in the institution so _she_ wouldn’t have to).

But now, the only proper adjective to use in describing the cranky Korean-American was _broke._

“Welcome to Pledis Petting Zoo!” he chirped. It was seven-thirty on a bleak, drizzling morning. Joshua’s smile was frozen on his face and eyes were unnaturally wide under his neon-pink hat, shaped to resemble a flamingo head, perfectly matching the hot pink flamingo suit he had on. _Why_ he was dressed like a flamingo he had no idea, since there weren’t any flamingos in the sorry excuse for a petting zoo he had to work for. They might as well have dressed him as a chicken. Everyone knows that chicken could heal anyone’s heart.

He supposed that he was better off than his friend Minghao, who was stationed the at the other gate, but the younger man had brought it on to himself, really, after confidently claiming that he was “like a bird,” in his job interview, only to hastily retract this ill-thought statement with a feeble, “Not a turkey!” after their manager, Jihoon, handed the Chinese dancer a dusty brown suit to contest his birdness.

Joshua certainly never claimed to be like a bird, but Jihoon, dear, sweet, multi-talented, manager-of-the-zoo-at-twenty-two Jihoon, was evil like that, anyway.

Joshua grinned widely at a bunch of random strangers. “I hope you enjoy your stay!”

His voice cracked a little, causing a gaggle of girls to look at him and giggle as they passed him, less in the _gosh-oppa-is-so-cute_ way and more of in the _ha-look-at-that-loser-in-a-flamingo-suit_ way.

He gritted his teeth behind his smiling lips, and turned to a little girl holding an ice cream cup. “Hi, there!” he yelled, trying for cheerful but instead succeeded in causing the girl to shrink behind her mother’s leg. “Are you in the _mooooo_ -d to see the cows? You’ve _goat_ to see the…uh, goats!” he gushed, all the while thinking that he wasn’t getting paid enough for this. Well, okay, he was the one making the lame puns, but if they wanted him to be funny, they’d have to pay extra for that. Half-assed jokes was all this kid was gonna get. Unless he’d get in an even worse mood and start _rapping_ , which would probably drive customers away and cause his boss to yell at him.

The toddler stared at him blankly before promptly dumping the contents of her cup on his skinny flamingo leg, much to the delight of her parents. “Aww, she’s so cute! Quick, honey—take a picture!”

Joshua dropped his smile faster than the kid dropped a frostbite infestation on his foot, but not nearly as fast as the way he dropped his hopes and dreams for the future the minute Jihoon forced him into this suit.

He didn’t really know HOW he became friends with Jihoon at all, especially since this was how Jihoon treated the same dude that graciously loaned him like ten guitars every time he’d accidentally destroy his in an attempt to mutilate somebody.

Joshua sighed. He really did need the money, though, and so did his friends Soonyoung and Minghao, because they were all performance majors that were already warned by their parents, friends, and random people they happened to strike a conversation up in subways that this sort of road often turned out to be a dead end, no matter how talented Joshua is with a guitar, or how amazing Soonyoung and Minghao  are with their dance moves.

Jihoon was just as talented, with deft skill of composing music, dancing, singing, and playing like thirty different instruments, but unlike his friends, he pursued the more “practical” road and took up business in college. But Joshua knew where his friend’s real passion lay, and it wasn’t in forcing friends to wear degrading costumes or spending hours managing bills in an air-conditioned room.

Anyway, Joshua’s Saturday morning still pretty much continued to suck, with people either ignoring or mocking his existence. Thirty minutes later, it rained, and he had to stand there helplessly in his bird outfit as the families scrambled for shelter under their umbrellas, staring at him with judge-y eyeballs. He prayed for a bit of sunshine in his horrendously dreary life.

Two hours later, the sun hit him full force, the rays beating down his back and burning holes on the back of his neck. _Damn climate change._

Jihoon walked by, a cup of coffee in his hands and a fedora perched on his pink head. “Hey,” Jihoon barked, “shift’s over, go muck out the stables.” In a gentler tone, he said, “You did great, Jisoo. I mean, it doesn’t really take much to stand around looking like an idiot, but you passed with flying colors. Congratulations.”

“Thanks, Jihoon,” a very unhappy flamingo replied.

Jihoon raised an eyebrow. “Don’t look so ecstatic or anything, hyung. You can always quit, you know.”

“No, I can’t,” he grumbled. “You’d hunt me down on Nestor’s back and get him to shit on my couch.” Nestor is a donkey. (And so was Joshua, in a figurative sense, but don’t tell him that.)

Jihoon scoffed. “Stop swearing, church boy, there are kids around.”

“Sorry,” Joshua said quickly. As much as possible, he didn’t swear, but he figured that dressing up like a flamingo in the hot sun with the morning drizzle drying up on your synthetic feathers was enough to entitle him at least one curse word.

Joshua shuffled to the employees’ lounge, where an equally soulless Minghao sat on one of the lumpy couches. The Chinese boy stared blankly at his cup of lukewarm water. For some reason, he was still in his turkey suit.

Joshua gently tugged the turkey hat from Minghao’s head and ruffled his blond locks. “Hey, Hao-Hao. What are you doing next?”

Minghao groaned in distress. “Jihoon-hyung’s office.”

Joshua nodded in sympathy. Jihoon was a perfectionist and would just make them clean his office over if they cleaned it “incorrectly.” How you could possibly get _vacuuming_ wrong was still a mystery to Joshua, but after cleaning and re-cleaning the manager’s office five times in a row three days ago, he didn’t really care enough to know.  “Wanna trade? I got the stables.”

“Oh…Soonyoung-hyung might want that,” he said. “He’s got the bird section and, yeah, he’s scared of birds. Especially that eagle.”

“What eagle?”

“They got him yesterday. I think they call him Seungcheol, or something.”

“Huh. Cool name.”

“Soonyoung wouldn’t think so. I don’t even know why he hates birds so much. But _you’d_ fit right in, hyung,” he said with a smirk, eyeing the older guy’s costume.

“What did you say, turkey-boy?” Joshua shot back, chuckling lightly.

Minghao groaned. “Go back to your kind, hyung,” he grumbled, nodding towards the bird enclosure, which could be seen right out the window.

Joshua peered outside, too, and his breath caught in his throat when a large thing suddenly swooped down around the netting, before gracefully perching on a tree branch.

“That’s something,” he admitted. He glanced at his dongsaeng and frowned as the Chinese man slid further down the couch, looking dejectedly at the turkey head.

Joshua laughed wearily. “Hey, look at it this way,” he offered. “We managed to survive one week of this, right? In a few months’ time, we can get that apartment and move out of that roachy place. And then you can finally dance all of this away, when you work at that dance studio while I play guitar in coffee shops. How’s that sound, Hao?”

Minghao blinked at him slowly, as if in deep deliberation of these words. Then he jolted and looked at Joshua in alarm. “It’s only been _a week?_ ”

 

“Why the fuck,” Jihoon said, with gritted teeth, “are my _satin blankets in the cat pen?!”_

Soonyoung gulped. He chuckled nervously. “Um, because Jeonghan and Seungkwan were cold? Cats are very finicky creatures, ya know—”

“My blankets,” Jihoon repeated, “are stained with dirt and kitty litter.”

“But you’re a good manager who could look past that, right? Think of the animals!” Soonyoung blurted, eyes still uncharacteristically wide. “Also, Jihoonie, please stop screaming. You’re scaring the kids. Look, that kid looks like he’d need ten years in trauma therapy.”

Jihoon snarled at him, before his face transformed with a sugary smile at the kid behind him. “Hiya, kiddos! Free caramel popcorn at the food court! Just tell Wonwoo-ssi that Jihoonie-hyung said so, okay?”

The kids cheered and immediately ran off, leaving Soonyoung with no one to serve as witnesses for his death except for a pair of bored-looking cats.

He swallowed as Jihoon took two menacing steps towards him. A person of average height would have only needed one big step, but Jihoon needed two ~~because he was Soonyoung’s little baby bean Jihoonie who also happened to be scary but in the most amazingly attractive way~~ and what the fuck was going on in Soonyoung’s head right now?

Jihoon paused, glaring up at the bleached-haired guy. “I’m docking your salary,” he said stiffly, “on account of these blankets.” He knew he was being too nice. If it were another employee that _dared_ to do this, Jihoon would have fired them on the spot, even if it were his Jisoo-hyung or Hao-Hao.

Thankfully, nobody else but Kwon Soonyoung was stupid enough to do this.

It still didn’t explain the show of mercy on his part, though, but he refused to dwell on what it could mean. He pouted as he took in the dust on his blankets. He’d just had them dry-cleaned yesterday, too.

Soonyoung, apparently, didn’t recognize the manager's amazing act of martyrdom. His eyes flew wide in panic. “But—Jihoon! It’s not my fault your cats have a taste for the, uh, finer things in life! They take after you! Back me up here, you guys!”

Seungkwan huffily turned his back on Soonyoung, his bushy tail lashing out in dramatic offense. Jeonghan just gave a little cat smile and rolled over on his back, promptly falling asleep.

“Traitors,” Soonyoung muttered. “And after what I’ve done for you!”

“I’m going to pretend,” Jihoon said icily, “that you did not just hold a conversation with two cats, right in front of your boss, no less. You can expect a twenty-percent decrease on your next paycheck.”

“Twenty—” Soonyoung sputtered. “Were those blankets sewn with spun gold or something? Why not just ask for my firstborn child next?!”

For some reason, Jihoon’s face turned as pink as the hair stuffed in his fedora. He coughed a few times, before croaking, “What?” With a slightly dazed expression on his face. “You want me to have your baby?”

Soonyoung scratched his head. “I meant…the old fairy tale? _Rumpelstiltskin?”_ Seeing no reaction from the manager, Soonyoung groused, “Man, didn’t you have a childhood at all?”

“No, I just thought…you meant something else,” Jihoon mumbled, staring at the felines sprawled on his ruined sheets.

“Okay…” Soonyoung sighed, placing his snapback on top of his head and sitting on the bench. He rubbed between Jeonghan’s ears, falling silent for a moment. “Fine, you can take twenty percent, whatever.” His dance studio dreams were slowly being dashed.

But he smiled a bit, eyeing his pink-haired manager. Well, maybe staying here for another month wouldn’t be so bad. “I’m gonna go feed the birds now, okay, Jihoonie? See ya.”

Just as he was about to leave, a small, delicate hand reached out and all but broke his forearm.

Soonyoung squeaked in pain. “What is _wrong_ with you?!”

“You can keep the twenty percent under one condition,” Jihoon said through clenched teeth.

Dumbly, the dancer nodded, still wincing in pain from Jihoon’s tight grip.

Jihoon glared at him, before his eyes softened and he let out a defeated sigh.  He snatched the two cats from the floor and hugged them gingerly, without the mutant force he’d used on Soonyoung’s arm earlier.

 Soonyoung suppressed a smile, loving how natural Jihoon looked with a bunch of cats in his arms. He looked like he was their mother, or something. “Hoonie?”

“Buy me dinner.”

“Hoonie, it’s barely even lunchtime yet. But I guess I could get you some kimbap—”

“Not right now, you hamster-faced imbecile,” he spat. “Tonight. After all our work is done. Okay?”

Soonyoung’s teeth flashed, much to the annoyance of the two felines, and his eyes were swallowed up in bliss. “Sure!”

 

 

 

 


	2. It's a Jungle Out There, But It Ain't Much Better Over Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo meets Mingyu, Joshua meets Seungcheol, and I have to meet the deadline for a bunch of school-related things, but HERE'S A CHAPTER INSTEAD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and the comments! I'll reply sometime this week. :)

Wonwoo didn’t really smile much.

It wasn’t because he was depressed, or suicidal, or forcibly projecting an emo image that should have been abandoned in the dumpster of everyone’s angsty teenage years. He just didn’t really _have_ much of a reason to smile these days, being miles away from his family and still feeling a bit awkward with his old college roommate’s friends.

Not to mention the fact that he was working as a popcorn salesman, because life was cruel like that.

Wonwoo wondered if things would have been better had he been the friendlier type, the more sociable kind that could charm employers with a handshake and a toothy grin. Most of the job interviews that he had ended with a staring contest with the employer coughing awkwardly and telling him that they’d call him back.

When Jihoon hired him, after Soonyoung had recommended him for a part-time job, the short man tossed him a uniform without even looking up from his paperwork.

Wonwoo wasn’t bubbly or energetic like Soonyoung. Soonyoung would grin and the world would grin back at him and offer him cotton candy and unicorn sparkles.

Wonwoo would grin and Jihoon would look at him with a Jihoon-y sort of concern and insist that Wonwoo shouldn’t report to work if he wasn’t feeling well, because he might end up being contagious and start an epidemic right in Jihoon’s zoo.

“Wonwoo-ssi?”

Wonwoo blinked at the horde of children looking at him with hopeful eyes.

“Hi…?”

The boy’s eyes lit up, clapping his hands victoriously. “We found him!” the kid shrieked. “Free popcorn for everybody!”

At least twenty little voices produced a cacophony of squeals, screams, and asthmatic wheezes, and the next thing Wonwoo knew, all the popcorn bags in his food stall were gone, and so were the sneaky, chubby-fingered culprits.

Wonwoo stared emotionlessly at his stall and then shrugged, gracefully untying his apron.

He figured he deserved more sleep, anyway. He already looked lifeless on a regular basis, he didn’t need to _feel_ lifeless, too.

He stepped out of the stall and was promptly throttled by a wolf.

Wonwoo blinked, hearing yells from the people around him.

 He locked eyes with the great beast, tossing it an unimpressed look. The monstrous creature, on the other hand, was ecstatic, licking Wonwoo’s face between every interval for breath, pink tongue rolling out as he panted.

“That’s Mingyu!”

Wonwoo turned his head to see Chan, Soonyoung’s kid cousin that often dropped by to help out. He had on his trademark bright smile, seemingly unaware that Wonwoo was suffocating under a living, breathing sofa.

“He’s a Saint Bernard. Pretty cool, huh?”

“Pretty cool,” Wonwoo repeated, before Mingyu’s heavy paw happily smacked him on the face. Wonwoo coolly spat out some dog fur. He pushed the dog aside and sat up. “Can you get him off me?”

The dog whined and pinned him back down on the pavement, sniffing his ear in rapturous delight.

Chan rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “Yeah…Jihoon-hyung told me to take him for a walk or something, ‘cause he was freaking the customers out when he jumps on them, but I kindahadthisthing,” he said in one breath. He looked at Wonwoo with a wide smile. “ _You’re_ good with animals, right, Wonwoo-hyung?”

“I’m good with popcorn. Which is why Jihoon put me in charge of the popcorn and not of these freakishly huge—Chan. Your dog is sticking his tongue in my ear.”

“Aw, please, hyung?” Chan whined, jutting his lower lip out in a pout.

Wonwoo was wracking his brain, trying to find a polite way to say _fuck off_ to a high school kid, when Mingyu turned to him with his brown puppy-dog eyes wide in desperation. He whimpered when Wonwoo tried to push him away again, and Wonwoo felt his resolve crumble.

The two of them made eye contact and Wonwoo’s lips quirked, seeing how adorably pathetic the dog looked. “Why is everyone scared of this mutt?” he wondered aloud, rubbing between the dog’s ears.

The dog yipped in excitement, shoving his huge head into Wonwoo’s hand. His canines flashed as he smiled a huge doggy smile.

“See!” Chan said triumphantly. “He likes you! Have to go now, hyung, bye! Thanks for doing this!”

“Wait!” Wonwoo called, but he swore that kid had wheels for feet.

Mingyu licked his nose this time, and despite himself, Wonwoo felt the corners of his lips curving into a grin.

 

“How’d you get an eagle?”

“He just won’t leave,” Jihoon stated simply. For some reason, he glared at the magnificent creature perched on the indoor tree branch. “Look.” The manager threw the netted doors open, waiting for the eagle to fly out.

“Get out, Seungcheol.”

The eagle proudly puffed his chest out like a baby bird and refused to budge.

“Whoa,” Joshua said softly. “Who trained him?”

Jihoon pinched the bridge of his nose. “He isn’t trained, unfortunately. If he were, then maybe he wouldn’t be so annoying. Seungcheol, I swear, the door is wide open. You can fly away RIGHT NOW. Please.”

“And you mocked me for talking to your cats!” Soonyoung shouted from someplace.

“Idiots,” Jihoon muttered, “I’m surrounded by idiots.”

The eagle chose that moment to swoop down from the tall tree, landing on Jihoon’s shoulder.

“Get off of me, you lawsuit with wings,” Jihoon growled, shrugging the bird off his shoulder. Seungcheol seemed to be perfectly fine with that, crossing the short distance to Joshua and staring at the boy sharply.

Joshua looked at the eagle with wide eyes.

“Go on, he wouldn’t bite,” Jihoon said automatically. He scowled at the bird. “You _wouldn’t,_ right, Seungcheol?”

The older boy didn’t understand the manager’s thing with birds (especially turkey and flamingos). But despite his confusion, he smiled when the bird nuzzled the proffered hesitant hand. “He likes me.”

Jihoon snorted. “Maybe he could sense that you guys are from the same species.”

“Seriously, where did you get this guy?” Joshua laughed softly as Seungcheol flew around him in lazy circles before settling on his shoulder again. “Hey, Jihoon, am I a Disney princess now?”

Jihoon smiled sourly. “That’s a good idea for a costume,” he threatened.

Joshua laughed nervously. “Uh…I’ll just go and feed the other birds now. What does Seungcheol eat?”

“Live mice.” At Joshua’s horrified look, Jihoon cracked a small grin. “Some kimbap and Gatorade will do.”

“What?”

Jihoon exhaled. “You know what, I’ll be in charge of feeding him.” He tossed the eagle a pointed look. “I have a feeling I’ll be seeing him tonight, anyway.”

 

It was evening. Jihoon reached for the beanie covering his pink hair, before lowering his hands and glancing around nervously.

He had an hour before Soonyoung finished cleaning the horses’ stables. Plenty of time to prepare. But he knew that he wouldn’t be able to count on privacy tonight. Not when the _humans_ were staying over, in the rooms a floor below his.

Joshua and Minghao had passed out cold in the employees’ lounge after cleaning Jihoon’s office for the fiftieth time. Feeling a tad guilty, Jihoon offered to let them stay overnight as opposed to commuting home. Wonwoo had gone straight home, saying that he had to wake up early for tomorrow’s shift.

Soonyoung, on the other hand, would also be staying in his abode tonight.

He stared at himself in the mirror.                                   

Lee Jihoon had a secret, and if things went well with Soonyoung—the guy he’d known for years and couldn’t judge anyone to save his life—he’d tell him the big, juicy secret that he hasn't told any human being, ever.

“I’m hungry, Jihoonie!”

“Hyung, you _promised_ you’d bring me to that cat spa this week!”

“If I see another toddler _again_ , so help me God—”

“Arf! Arfff! Bow-wow!”

And unfortunately, it involved these guys.

“Children,” Jihoon drawled, “let’s step into my office, shall we?”

Lee Jihoon turned, and before him, a group of men stood, as usual, invading his privacy. He sighed.

Apart from being unfairly good-looking, there was something distinctly _not_ human about these guys.

One had dark feathery wings. Another had a white, bushy tail. Several had ears sticking out of the top of their heads.

Sighing, Jihoon finally released his beanie, revealing short furry ears of a hamster. He crossed his arms and stared everyone down.

“I guess we do have some things we need to talk about.”

 

 


End file.
